The Beginning Of The End
In January of 1983, I was beginning the last semester of my Senior Year in High School. And the only thing on my mind was leaving home and heading off to college. I had arranged my schedule where I had just one required course – English Literature for Seniors – basically college prep, and an elective class – German III. The remainder of my day was a mix of working in the office/homeroom – which became an extended, often off campus lunch time. A class on being a consumer. The concept being that we would learn everything from buying cars to homes, financing, taxes etc. – My assignment, as the only Senior was to set up interesting field trips to expand our knowledge base. And a few other classes like that which required very little homework, or study. I was working about 30 hours a week at the new Tom Thumb Supermarket and did not have the time to mess with homework. If it couldn’t be finished at school, in class, or during homeroom, it did not get completed.
Ninety-nine balloons
On their way to the horizon
Were taken for UFOs from space
Hence, a general sent
A squadron after them
To give the alarm
But there, on the horizon
Were just ninety-nine balloons
The 70s Were Bogus – The 80s Were Like, Totally Awesome!
As I have discussed before, the 80s were a perfect storm of events. The 70s, with wars that never ended, the spread of terrorism, out of control inflation, and one of the worst administrations in the modern era, left millions uncertain and confused. America had fought on two fronts in World War 2, defeating the Nazis and Imperial Japan, emerging as the unquestioned leader economically, militarily, and scientifically. On top of that, the United States was seen as standing strong for Liberty throughout the world. But over time that was slipping away. Pointless wars, immoral youth, urban decay, a government takeover of housing and education, and if that was not bad enough, depressing music littered the airways – it was a sad time to be young and awake.
And with the folk songs, and the annoying protest songs, disco came along and made everything worse. It was supposed to be peppy, get people on the floor and happy. But it was just bright paint on an old building. But it kept the youth distracted for a moment.
Then something wonderful happened at the turn of the decade. A new President was elected who was optimistic about America’s future. He was not eagerly looking for new wars, but instead wanted to end the Cold War. Within no time, respect for America went up around the world. Inflation dropped like a rock, and folks who had been emigrating to Texas in droves looking for work, finally started finding work in their own states.
Technology was exploding unlike any time in the past. Computers were leapfrogging each other in power, storage, and portability. This changed how everything was done, from making a purchase, to modern music. The FM band and college radio gave listeners far more variety, along with the leap in distribution from albums to 8 Track to Cassettes to CDs later in the decade. Cable and satellites brought news from around the world in an instant, and programming for any taste on the planet. MTV launched which combined music and videos in a 24 hour format. Immediately, they provided distribution to hundreds of bands who would have never been known outside of their country without appearing on MTV.
I’m the dandy highwayman so sick of easy fashion
The clumsy boots, peek-a-boo roots that people think so dashing
So what’s the point of robbery when nothing is worth taking? (oh oh)
It’s kind of tough to tell a scruff the big mistake he’s making
Do You Wanna Hold Me?
Most of the world had socialized their medicine, meaning some government twat decided what if any care you could get, and when you could get it. America held out, and with private insurance, and competition, dentistry and orthodontics became a reality for many American schoolchildren in the 80s. And with so many bands from overseas appearing on MTV, the differences were noticeable. Only the very affluent, or the connected had access to services that we took for granted. And it was obvious. But with the quantity of albums they were selling, that was easily corrected if they desired.
In Longview, Texas, there were many practicing orthodontists. But somehow if you were a teenage boy, there was only one that you WANTED to see. He was competent enough. Worked with families on payments if insurance fell short. And had an office right next to the school for convenience. What made his office a young man’s dream was his ability to hire the most beautiful dental assistants in East Texas. And the primary one, responsible for all your adjustments each visit, was a very BLESSED brunette, who seemed to enjoy her moments tormenting her teenage male patients. All in good fun. At that age, just about anything female related was exciting. Nothing ever crossed the line. It was mostly in the imagination of the young men, and not in her actions.
Being the youngest of three kids, my sisters’ college expenses took priority over straight teeth. What that meant for me, while many kids started the program in middle or junior high, I got a late start in high school. If dating wasn’t already confusing and frustrating, adding a mouth full of metal did not make it any easier. But that was also an asset when it came to visiting my favorite dental assistant. I LOOKED like an adult, unless I smiled. I was easily 6’4″ – I added an inch in college to stay ahead of the pack. So not only did I appear closer to her age, I had a much better understanding of those strange feelings I was experiencing as she reached across me for yet another tool. While flirtations were quite innocent at the office, we did have a moment outside the office.
Before Tom Thumb, I worked for a restaurant and was really good friends with the staff which were mostly young women. About once a week they all went to the nightclub to dance. The fact that I was 16 or 17 was meaningless. Nobody checked IDs back then, and to most folks I LOOKED all of 18+ – being taller than most folks in the club. I believed the invitation was because they really liked me. But soon found that I was there simply to run interference until they found someone they wanted to be with that evening. Oh well, I could still drink my fruity drink and enjoy the music – I did not consume beer back then.
I learned the fine art of bar posing, getting to really know the bartenders and looking like I belonged. I was always friendly and patient, tipped decently enough, and the bartenders seemed to like me. That experience paid many dividends throughout my imbibing life.
So there I was posing as usual on a Saturday night. I had been abandoned quite early in the evening, and the place was getting a bit more crowded than I liked. I slid down away from the well, giving way to waitresses that were obviously working hard and turned to look at the dance floor. Right in front of me was the hottest brunette I had ever seen. And she was smiling and waving at me! For a moment I was shocked. But then she ran over and gave me a huge hug. It was my orthodontist’s assistant! After some small talk, she handed me a shot. I had never done one before, and didn’t even ask what it was. When a super hot girl hands you something, I guess you just take it. Before I knew it, we were on the dance floor flailing around to Bow Wow Wow’s Annabella Lwin singing, Do You Wanna Hold Me? And I answered, “Oh Yeah!”
After a couple of songs, it was all over. A man she described and embraced as her boyfriend arrived and stopped my fantasy cold. This was no horny teenager. He was easily over 6’0″ and built like a linebacker. He looked like a shorter version of Tom Selleck, probably not quite as rich – but with some of the oil money in East Texas, you never really know. Considering how pretty the assistant was, this was about what you would expect for her match. He was gracious, knowing I was no threat at all, even thanked me for keeping her company. So I had that going for me. I wished them well, and returned to my spot near the bar, standing a wee bit taller than before.
I Know A Little German.
Neunundneunzig Luftballons
In the Spring of 1983, Nena’s hit 99 Luftballoons hit MTV, and immediately was a huge sensation, with the German language version hitting #2 in the US – very unusual for a song with foreign lyrics. And while I never had the opportunity to gain full fluency in German, after 2.5 years, I had a mastery of the language far better than the average American. I liked the song, but also understood the lyrics. Europeans have a much stronger distaste for war, and military solutions. Strong leaders are very often disliked, and compromise and debate preferred – this would create loads of frustration for me decades later working for a Finnish company. But for now, it was just a difference I noted between American and European artists.
They did release an English language version, but it never had the success of the original. Even the band was disappointed by it. Enough with my boring backstory, here is Nena.
